Year End Post

Dear readers,

I would like us all to take a moment to sit back and look back on the year we've had. There's certainly been highs and lows. For some people I know they're at a high while others are at a low. And while I sit here looking back on all the things I've both accomplished and failed to accomplished I have to come the most important realization of myself.

My entire life I've run from the facts of life. I looked away from the terrible only to look at the positives but thinking on it, is it right? Not for me it isn't. Today, I have to stop running. Life happens and it will always move at the same pace. A pace I have to keep with. This weekend reminded me that every second with everyone and everything counts and I'm not going to use that time running.

My name is Michael Hand. This is my blog: A soul of its own. For the last time this year ending a blog post.

Hoping you have a good New Years,

Mike Hand

In Memory of Urryan

Dear readers,

This is likely a post I won't put up because I doubt many of you will actually care. It is simply something I find myself writing to help myself cope.

That said it is time to get down to business: This morning I woke up like every other morning and see that an old acquaintance of mine had passed away. Nor is it a joke; Lawrence High School has a memorial set for tomorrow. Myself and many friends of mine are, to put it lightly, shocked. Urryan was a funny guy and more importantly a good guy.

I do believe once I wrote that I'd write my thoughts on death and this seems the occasion I need to. Death is a thing we can not see pass and which has a state of permanence. They say the only things that are permanent are changes but this not true; The only things that are permanent are changes and death. All my life death has run circles around me, constantly reminding myself of the fact that I am mortal. I always have glanced over this though; I am young and I have nothing to fear. Of course today I was reminded that that is not the case at all.

In the case I've never said this, I love and appreciate you all as friends. From everyone I've learned something new and it is an understatement to say that it helps me develop as a person. So it is that I hate to weigh you down with my problem but at the same time this is something I need to type.

So before I start speaking circles I'll close this off. Rest in Peace Urryan, you died to young,

Mike Hand

Holiday Posting

Dear readers,

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and to all a good New Year's Eve. In all seriousness as I type I'm trying to find something to type about. So instead I will type about how somewhat difficult it is for me to find something to type.

It's counter intuitive; I got a new instrument, hat, vest, am done with my PiG paper, will be pretty much done with school entirely after this quarter, am planning to make a band and see as many movies as possible during this break but at the same time I'm grasping at straws that just don't seem to be there.

At the moment none of these are making me want to write but all I want to do is write. For me it is self exploration to sit down, think and record my thoughts but at the same exact time some thoughts I can't right on. Who cares about my thoughts on Christmas and crazy people? Probably only I do. The list could go on but I feel that the point is known.

So really this post is to wish all of you a happy holiday.

Hoping the holiday is enjoyable,

Mike Hand

Time Flew

Dear readers,

Right now I'm dealing with something a little strange for myself. Did you ever have one of those instances when people say something and you think, "that will never happen to me"? I have and those are senior speeches in congress. Every year people break down crying and say that no one can know why until they stand up there themselves. Now don't be mistaken any one crying isn't crying for the sake of it, most of them centered their entire high school around this club. We all went in there awkward freshman or otherwise and returned from the battle field of debate as man. This is no joke, I would have people tell you how awkward I was freshman year at the first congress but most of those people graduated. What remains is a few people and then myself. I who can tell you how awkward the majority of the people in every school's club were when I first met them, I who could tell there growth intellectually and socially, I who was approached by many people with important questions and then I who will graduate and leave.

What I'm grappling with is "and then what?" Ultimately the moment I leave for college I will slowly be erased from the memory of the club which made what was probably the biggest impact on my four years of high school. It used to be that I cared about awards but that ended after the first congress when I realized my joy could never be in awards but only in speaking and being near a group of people who far exceeded in intelligence and creativity most people I knew at school.

And when I go to college I lose all that. More then that I may lose myself. Is that a bad thing? Maybe, maybe not but I guess the only thing I can do is go boldly towards the future.

Looking to what's ahead,

Mike Hand

Evolution of trashed Jei Woo song

Dear readers,

Today I will consider the evolution of things Jei Woo throws in the trash. First Jei throws it out. Then Scott takes it and tells me to complete then. Then I complete them several separate times. Finally I do a preliminary presentation at a congress talent show as a performance art piece at a congress talent show that my friend Sam tells me was good. And so I develop and evolve the work of others making it a story of a the single event that made a person lose everything.

First I destroyed the primary phrase in it just to see what would happen. From there I developed it closer to my own style. After this I saw the primary phase still worked so I reworked it in and made another draft with it reworked in to make it more natural. So now I will show the original (Jei Woo's original and my ending) so that when the current is truly complete and finalized I can look back at this and see where the evolution has gone from.

Original:

Standing in line for the second time

Tonight by the way I see you

Naked in the rain.

Lately

Lately

Break it down

Break

At this point Jei stopped writing and I did a quick completion on the spot:

Break, break

Lately I've seen

Truth in sheep's clothes

Now I know

I know now

Lately

Lately

Break it down

Break

Break, Break.

I hope that A. Jei has no problem with me putting that first part up. B. That when I look back at this when all is said and done I will see a more clear evolution of writing.

Thank you for reading,

Mike Hand

12 Monkeys

Dear readers,

I know what you are thinking, "Michael you were not in today, how could you have watched the movie?" I looked it up online to keep my mind off things. Good news is that I am feeling better and should be in tomorrow.

Anyways, back to what is more important. This film was definitely a change of pace for me as this last week end I saw Harold and Maude (not hard to follow) and the new Pokemon film (very easy to follow). Then we have 12 Monkeys. I can easily see why we were told not to miss a second as there was a quite a large attention to detail (the guy who appeared out side of the town who appeared in that picture in the presentation they showed James Cole wounded in World War 1 was the same guy preaching outside the church later in the film).

James Cole's slip into questioning his sanity was very well executed. We had a bit of a hint that he could go insane (the scientists said this is why they use criminals instead) and after that he begins to question what the present is. It's a question that appears surprisingly little in science fiction. If you are present in one time long enough but from another time does this new time because your 'present'? In fact is there even a present?

The other thing I liked was the ending. From the moment he gets that gun and the moment that strange guy who first appeared halfway through the movie is revealed as the carrier we realize that the entire time the scientists must have known this was going to happen. Why? They were in the air port as well, watching. Jose is given the gun to give to James but why couldn't Jose shoot the guy instead? The answer would have to be that the scientists always knew that James would end up dead and that they would make sure he would end up dead.

Now here's where it gets a little more interesting. By this point he has been pardoned of his crime and has no need to do anything for them. Worst case scenario they kill him. But once again why couldn't Jose kill the guy? Because James was supposed to die trying. He was supposed to be both dead and alive at the same time. None of this film was actually stopping the virus but making sure that what was supposed to happen happened properly. The scientists now know who releases the virus but will likely do nothing about it. It doesn't appear that you time travel with any clothes so the only way to carry a sample of the un mutated form is to ingest it which doesn't seem like a good idea. If anything the future is still grim with no signs of sunny weather coming any time soon and maybe that is why I loved the end to this movie. It told the story of James Cole, the man who died when he saw himself, and how we cannot change the future.

Signing out,

Mike Hand